Ep 212 - The Father Who Stays Is the Most Radical Man in the Room - A Father's Day Episode

James Caldwell: This is the Manly Catholic, the podcast that calls you out of the shadows and into the fight. Here we forge men into warriors for Christ, husbands, fathers, and leaders who refuse to kneel to the modern world's lies. No more passivity, no more excuses, no more lukewarm faith. This is your battle cry, your call to arms. The time for weakness is over. It's time to fight. Welcome to the Manly Catholic. Let's get to work. Hello, all welcome back to another episode of the Manly Catholic. This is James, your host, and happy Father's Day. I know Father's Day is this coming Sunday, but I thought I would do a Father's Day episode for all the fathers listening out there, both biological fathers, both mentors as fathers, spiritual fathers, obviously. ⁓ some man who's a father figure in our life has impacted you in some way, shape, or form. So I thought this is just kind of a A lighthearted episode. I just want to give you guys obviously just explain a little bit about the message of hope. God, of course, as our father as well, and share a little video for you guys, I think, will help just give you a little motivation, not motivation, a little hope for the future that we have coming in store. But before we get started, let us begin with a prayer. Name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit. Amen. Say Michael the Archangel, defend us in battle. Be our protection against the wickedness and snares of the devil. May God rebuke him. We humbly pray. And do thou, Prince of the Heavenly Host, by the power of God, cast into hell, Satan and all the evil spirits who prowl about the world seeking the ruin of souls. Amen. Father, Son, and the Holy Spirit. Amen. Now, I want to just paint a picture for you guys as we dive in this episode. It's nine forty-five in the evening. Kids are finally in bed. The dishes are done. Well, mostly. You're sitting there in the only quiet moment that you've had all day, and you're Exhausted. Just not tired, but you're just beat. The kind of tired that lives in your bones. Nobody said thank you today. Nobody noticed that you fixed the thing that was broken, or that you prayed over the house before anyone was up, or that you held us together when you really wanted to lose it. You just did what you had to do. You showed up again. And somewhere in the back of your mind you hear that little voice, that lie that says or asked the question. Does any of this actually matter? Brothers, this episode is for you. This is for all the fathers out there who are struggling, who are in the day in the day out grind, who continually ask themselves, What on earth am I doing this for? Because it does matter. Because we are living in a fatherlessness catastrophe, especially here in America. Did you guys know that one in four children in America, twenty-five percent of children grow up without their biological father? And for some communities, that number climbs even higher. The research on what this produces is not subtle. Kids without fathers are statistically more likely to struggle with poverty, with crime, with addiction, with mental illness, with dropping out of school. Boys growing up without fathers are far more likely to struggle with their sense of identity, with purpose, and what it means to be a man. Girls without fathers are far more likely to look for that love and that protection in all the wrong places. We're living through the consequences of a generation of men who left, who drifted away, who checked out physically, emotionally, spiritually. Some of them didn't physically walk out the front door, but some of th some of them just disappeared. They still live in the house, they still sit at the dinner table, but they've checked out. The absence of a father is one of the greatest spiritual wounds that a child can carry into adulthood. And here's what the culture does not want to admit. Fatherhood is not just a social role. It is a sacred office, a participation in something divine. When a man abandons that or neglects it, the wound isn't just emotional, but of course it is also tied to the spiritual. So why am I bringing up this on Father's Day? Because you just deserve the truth, and that's what we try to bring here at the Mainly Catholic, is the truth always. The truth is that the stakes are high, and what you do, what you choose to do day after day, in the unglamorous, the unwitnessed, the unrewarded moments matters more than you can possibly know. So let's start at the beginning. When we pray the Our Father, when Jesus Himself teaches us to address God as Father, he is not reaching for a metaphor, he is revealing something ontological. Something real about the very nature of God. Have you guys ever thought about why Jesus calls God Father? There's something there, right? There's something that is powerful about being a father, and God obviously recognized that. God is father, not like a father, not as if he were a father. He is father eternally and essentially. The first person of the Holy Trinity is the Father who generates the Son from all eternity. And it is that eternal fatherhood that is the source and the archetype of all human fatherhood. The catechism says God's parental tenderness can also be expressed by the image of motherhood, which emphasizes God's imminence, the intimacy between creator and creature. But Scripture never exhausts the mystery of God. God transcends the human distinction between the sexes. He is neither man nor woman, he is God. And yet he chooses to reveal himself to us as Father. Why is that? Because fatherhood at its truest, its most complete expression, is what God is like. Now think about what that means for you and to you. When you provide for your family, you are imaging a God who provides. When you protect your household, you are imaging a God who protects. When you discipline your children in love, You are imaging a God who disciplines those he loves. When you stay, when you are faithful and present and consistent, you are imaging a God who never abandons. Scripture tells us in Psalm twenty seven, My father and my mother have forsaken me, but the Lord will take me in. God the Father is the Father who never walks out. He is the Father who stays. Every earthly father participates in the eternal fatherhood of God. Your vocation is not secular, but sacred. And here is the weight of it, men. When a child grows up with a father who is present, faithful, loving, and strong, that child has a much easier time believing that God is present, faithful, loving, and strong. The father in the home is often the first image a child has of who God is. When that father is absent or cold or cruel, that wound will go deep. And it becomes one of the biggest obstacles a person will face in their entire spiritual life. Not impossible to overcome, of course, because we have God and His grace. But it becomes much more difficult for that child as they grow. You are forming your child's capacity to receive God. That is the weight of your office and your vocation. Now we talk about Saint Joseph a lot, and we cannot talk about Father's Day without bringing up Saint Joseph again. Saint Joseph is one of the most remarkable figures in all of scripture and one of the most overlooked, I think. But do you guys know what he never does in the entire gospel? That's right, you probably know. He never says a single word. Not one line of recorded dialogue. He just acts. He just stays. He's present. When Mary comes to him pregnant before the angel speaks to him, in that terrible, silent moment of confusion, what does he do? He doesn't explode? I mean, he could have, we don't know that. Obviously he doesn't shame her publicly, which in that time he had every right to do, but he quietly decides to step away to protect her even when he thinks it is betrayal. Now, there's speculation that you know just Joseph thought that Mary was so holy that he wasn't worthy enough to be involved in this situation. I think sometimes when we look back, maybe we over spiritualize things. I think a very normal reaction, if you found that out, was back. You know, what the heck? But ju Joseph, regardless of what you think, Joseph loved Mary so much. Whether he knew that she didn't do this, or maybe he s suspected that she did, he still chose to divorce her quietly to remove the shame. Because Mary technically could have been stoned to death in that day and age. But regardless, then the angel comes and the angel tells him what happened. And Joseph obeys immediately, without hesitation. He takes Mary as his wife He names child Jesus. He claims Jesus as his son under the law, and in doing so he gives Jesus something we often do not think about a legal identity, a family lineage, a name, and a place in the world. Then comes a flight into Egypt. In the middle of the night, pick up your family and run. And who talks to him again? Another angel. No questioning, just trust. Joseph goes. Takes Mary and Jesus and they go. Then they had years in a foreign land, in Egypt, then they came back. Then the quiet years in Nazareth. Years of carpentry. Years of waking up and building things and putting food on the table and teaching a boy, God's own son, how to work with his hands. Joseph's Joseph's greatness is not found in his words, it is found in the faithfulness of his presence. Joseph's Never got a thank you speech, never got a monument in his lifetime. Now Josephology has become more popular in this day and age, especially Fatherway Don Callaway and his ⁓ consecration to Saint Joseph. The church calls him the terror of demons, the patron of the universal church, the man entrusted with the holy family. He was a man of few words, but he was a man of action. And man, that is the model. Don't be the loudest man in the room. You don't have to be the man who's the most impressive on paper. Aim for faithfulness. The one who stays when it actually costs you something. Coffee and prayer. It's the perfect blend. Mystic Monk Coffee isn't just another cup of coffee. It's handcrafted by the Carmelite Monks of Wyoming, roasted with care and infused with prayer. Whether you're starting your morning or fueling your day, Mystic Monk Coffee has you covered. It offers rich, bold flavors that are as divine as their mission. By choosing Mystic Monk, you're not just enjoying exceptional coffee. But you're supporting a community of monks dedicated to their work, to prayer, and to the church. It's coffee with a cause. So what are you waiting for? Visit mysticmonkcoffee.com and experience the brew that's fueling faith and flavor. Now, man, we all struggle with things. You know, I'm a father, I'm a husband, I work full time, I'm running this podcast. We're homeschooling now. And yeah, there are days when I feel completely invisible. Days when I'm running on empty before seven AM before the kids even wake up. Days when I snap when I shouldn't, or check out when I should be present on my phone or watching sports late at night. And I feel the weight of everything pressing down and wonder if I'm doing any of this right. And I just want, you know, a break. Wanna check out a little bit. I don't think I'm alone in that. I think we all can relate to that. But I keep remembering that my presence is not nothing. My staying is not nothing. Every morning that I get up and I pray before the the house is awake, that is me engaging in spiritual warfare. Every time I choose patience when I want to lose it, that's trying to form a soul. Every time I sit down with my kids and open a book or say the rosary, or just show up to the dinner table and ask them how they're doing. I'm doing something that the world is desperate for and the enemy is working overtime to destroy. Staying is the heroic act. Not staying is easy. That's what the culture offers men a hundred different exits and ten thousand distractions. Stain is the hard thing. Stain is the manly thing. Because the father who stays, who is present, faithful, and consistent, is one of the most radical acts of resistance against the spirit of this age. And I want to name something that I think goes unspoken too often the thanklessness. The thanklessness of it. Nobody gives you a medal for not leaving. Nobody applauds the morning routine. The world is not out there celebrating the man who goes to work, comes home, prays with his kids, loves his wife, and does it again tomorrow. That man is invisible to the culture, but he is not invisible to God. Because God sees the father who kneels beside his child's bed at night, prays over them, protects them, anoints them with holy water. God sees the man who goes to mass even when he's tired because he knows his family is watching. God sees the quiet fidelity, and one day, men, we will hear that. Well done, faithful servant. So here's my challenge for you today as we approach Father's Day. What is one thing that you can do the rest of this week and into next week to be more present to your family? One small concrete act of presence. Is it just praying with your kids before bed, putting the phone down at dinner time, going to a daily mass outside your normal Sunday? 'Cause I know everyone who listens here goes to Mass every Sunday, writing your wife a note. Taking your son somewhere, just the two of you. Pick one, something simple, and do it this week. And I want to leave you guys with a little Father's Day message. I I saw this on YouTube. I thought it was good. I'm gonna share my screen here with you guys. So if you're watching on YouTube, this is for you. Full screen here. Sorry, here. Yeah. Courage and kindness, strength and gentleness, fortitude and tenderness a father. A leader and a lifelong teacher, a comforter and a patient listener, a hero and a world changer, a gift from God above. Being a father is a high and holy calling. It is not only a blessing, but also a stewardship. Fatherhood is a precious opportunity and a divine responsibility, because it is one of the many ways that God watches over all of us. A father is a protector and a provider, a hard worker and a family man, a role model and a faithful friend. And so from all of us to all of you, thank you to the fathers. There we go. And I also saw one from Knights of Columbus. I don't know if you guys ever read, first of all, Bishop Olmsted's Into the Breach. Fantastic series. ⁓ but they also, the Knights of Columbus, put on this awesome video series that was based on it and and they did a whole episode on fatherhood as well. So I will leave a link in the show notes for you guys to check that out as well. It's like I think eleven to twelve minutes long. So another great episode. Make sure for those of you I know sometimes Father's Day as well, we have lost fathers, or maybe we had An abusive father or an absent father growing up. You know, so sometimes Father's Day can be very hurtful and bring up very bad memories or, you know, emo stir a lot of emotions in us. And just remember that God the Father is always there for you. And just like I talked about in the episode, always goes back to the beginning, always goes back to Jesus and calling God Father. And God the Father is the ultimate example of what true fathership. Is for those of you who are listening who are fathers, who are spiritual fathers, who are mentors, even if you don't have your own children, those of you who, of course, who are biological fathers as well, just remember what I talked about today. Remember that your presence means more to your children than anything else. And you're gonna mess up. You're gonna screw up big time. But are you getting back up on the horse? Are you saying sorry? Are you loving your wife? Are you loving your children? Are you showing up each and every day and showing them that showing up sometimes is all you can do? And that is enough. I cannot thank you guys all so much for tuning in. It really means the world to Father Dom and Jeff and myself, of all the men that we get the feedback from and who commenting our videos and things like that, we we do this for you guys and we're praying for you. I ask that you please pray for us. Pray for the work that we do. And if you please hit that subscribe button. Share with a friend, someone you think needs this. If you can are able to support our mission, please do so at buy me a coffee. You can see a link in the show notes. Make sure you do that there. But until next time, gentlemen, go out there and be a saint. Brothers, thank you so much for listening to this episode. If the show has added value to your life, I'm going to ask you to do three things. Share with a brother who needs it. Leave us a review, and finally support the show so we can keep fighting. Links are in the show notes. We'll see you next week.